Nomenclature (Humour)(long)

[Dave Van Allen]

Something some of you may find humorous... a friend of mine culled this from a pro-audio newsgroup:

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica">quote:</font><HR><SMALL>Subject: Re: urgent - information needed ASAP
Date:Thu, 25 May 2000 02:21:22 -0500
From:Harvey Gerst <harvey@ITRstudio.com>
>Ghost wrote:
>>
>> Hello everyone
>>
>> Can someone email ASAP as much information as they can on the following
>> areas of mixers, consoles, desks etc


HARVEY responded with:
Sure, glad to help.

>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> Different types of inputs found on mixers, desk, consoles

There are three different types of inputs on mixers.

One has three holes and is really big (which is why it's known as an "Xtra
Large Receptacle", or "XLR"). If you look in the back of most TVs, CDs, Tape
decks, etc., you'll see that audio only needs two wires, so why does this XLR
plug have three wires?

Simple, it's for "professional" use, so they add an extra wire to carry the
signal twice, as a safety precaution, just in case the main wire breaks. XLR
plugs usually connect to MIC inputs ("MIC" stands for "Mixer Input Connection"
- the primary input on a mixer).

A smaller set of inputs called LINE ("Less Intense Noise Environment") inputs
are used for multiple telephone "LINE" inputs (for example, radio call-in
shows use a lot of lines), and this type of input uses "phone" jacks
(obviously).

A final type of input is for tape recorders and some other functions. These
use RCA plugs ("Resistive Connector Adaptors), so called because they use
friction, and resistance to movement, to make their solid connection.

>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> Gain,

Gain is actually a misnomer - everything that goes into a mixer is already at
optimum levels, so these controls really just reduce some of the higher levels
so that they match the softer instruments. That's why the long sliders on a
board are called "faders" - because they only make things softer, never
louder.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> Equalisation, what does it do, how does it work, how different types are
>> there?

Equalization is used for one primary reason, as its name implies - to make
everything equal. Without some help from the EQ controls, a triangle could
never have the bottom end of a Marshall stack. Also remember that EQs do
nothing below their center position. It's usually recommended that you simply
set them all to maximum and forget them.

There are 3 fundamental types of EQs:

shelving: used to compensate for the shelf across the top of the console,

graphic: used primarily for creating landscape pictures with the sliders,

pairometrics: which are simply two metric equalizers (so called because the
controls use the British metric system, very popular after the Beatles
recordings).
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> Auxiliaries,

Another misnomer. Everyone thinks AUX stands for "Auxiliary", when in
reality, it's an acronym for "Any Useless Xtra" signals that must be fed to
the mixer, like a metronome, for example.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> Faders

See "Gain" above.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> Routing

This is a responsibility of the bus driver in relation to mobile recording
studios, where the driver must figure out the best route to the session.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> Output Groups

These are used for mobile recording studios, and are known as busses, since
their primary function is to supply signals to the buss driver and his
friends.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> Main Outputs

These supply "mains" voltage (117VAC in the US) to power other equipment.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> Monitoring

These are TV output jacks to provide an unobstructed video view of the stage
or group.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> Meters

These are used to check the condition of each signal coming into the mixer.
Red means the signal is "ready" to go, yellow means the signal is falling to a
possible dangerous low level, and green "means your ass is grass" if you leave
the signal this low.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> Mix Amps

Final mixes for commercial recordings are now measured in "amps", not dBs.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> what are in-line and modular desk, consoles,

In-line desks have each channel stacked in line - one above the other. With
larger consoles, this became a problem in reaching all the channels, so they
invented the "modular" desk, where you could move the channel modules that you
use the most closer to you.
>> ---------------------------------------------------------
>> This would be much appreciated

Glad to help. How else are you gonna learn if you don't ask?

Harvey Gerst
Indian Trail Recording Studio
</SMALL><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><FONT SIZE=1 COLOR="#8e236b"><p align=CENTER>[This message was edited by Dave Van Allen on 25 May 2000 at 09:43 AM.]</p></FONT>

[Bill Crook]

it's a joke, atempt at humor, at best ain't it ????

I did laugh at one or two of em tho.

[Dave Van Allen]

I just thought it demonstrated that denizens of other forums/newsgroups are just as helpful to newbies as we are

[Jon Light (deceased)]

It sure is gratifying that I have been right all these years about every item there. Cool!

[John Rickard]

"Hey Beavis! Just plug it in!
JR

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Slide It On Over

[Marco Schouten]

Now I know what you guys were all talking about!

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Steelin' Greetings
Marco Schouten